Too Little Too Late?

I’ve tried for 40 minutes to write something profound and moving. I just can’t paint the picture I want. Creatively tie all the feelings together with a common thread. So, I’m just going to put my foot in my mouth a couple of times and just say it.

My ex and I have been talking almost daily since I moved out. (the joys of our two companies working hand in hand) At first we were using our best polite voices. Now we are getting a tad more “normal” sounding. But the interesting thing is… The things that bothered him before, he likes. For example, I was getting passionate about how he needs to do something. Before he would say calm down, shushing me and my emotions (to a response of me yelling louder, storming off and crying); today he said, it is ok, he likes it, it shows I still care. Then he went on about the pressures of work, I began to tune it out like normal, but instead I asked if he was happy with his job and said he mostly only talks of the bad things.  A long couple of moments later the conversation turned to the clients he does like and the nice things they have been saying about him. He even said he liked his job and his homeowners. I haven’t heard him talk like that for years.

This has got me thinking. What would have happened if we could have talked like this BEFORE I packed up my treasures, taken away a Sunday morning in 9 of my friends’ lives, and moved into my parent’s home? What would have happened if I knew he was happy, instead of totally miserable? If he understood my over jealousness was my way of showing how deep and passionate I care? I don’t know if it would have made a difference. But it is nice to know we are developing an understanding of each other.

I guess my request to everyone is… Please “look” at what your partner is saying. Could you interpret it differently? Is something a trait you originally fell in love with, and if so, can you find that interest in it again? “Look” at what you are bringing to the dinner table. What are you saying every night? Are you only talking about the bad?  When was the last time you stopped, looked them in the eye and said “I love the way you….”

I'm off the soap box now... Thanks for listening to me un-eloquently ramble on my thoughts. Have a great day!